Bye Dad...

Dec 14, 2024

Dad

I had a massively complicated relationship with my father. Mostly due to the fact that we are very similar personalities. Except Myers-Briggs disagrees. We were alike in world view, temperament, creativity, and what we truly valued the most. And we were unalike in that Dad couldn’t wrap his head around my extroverted ways. (Which is probably how super extra extroverted me ended up as both a bookworm and a novelist, but hey…that’s for the Ph.D.s to figure out.)

I know people who knew my Dad well, wouldn’t believe he’s an introvert, but the difference between introverts and extroverts isn’t in presentation, it’s in the emotional energy it costs that person to show up and interact with other humans. For me, I need to see people and hang out. When I get home, I am typically charged up, ready for a workout, regardless of the time of day. Dad was sore, cranky, and just wanted to retreat to his bedroom. That’s because for Dad, showing up was to be present. To pay attention to his friends. To engage with other people.

For me, it’s life. When my friends, family, strangers expend their energy to engage with me, I feel it wash over me, lighting up all of the things that make me, well me.

And yet…Dad was also a novelist, like his father before him. And Dad started publishing his novels later in life, well into his sixties. I'll have a good 15 years on him.

Dad loved the outdoors, hiking, fishing, swimming. I love the outdoors, but a bad hip has ended my hiking adventures. I still love swimming, but having moved north to Illinois, I can’t do it the way I love to do it anymore. I love the beach. I want a sailboat.

Dad gave his time to bettering his community. He was first a shop steward and then president of a union local. I am an elected library trustee. He was president of his county’s beekeeper association. I coached AYSO soccer. He taught his Sunday School Class. I invented (with massive help from a couple of friends) Grayslake AuthorFest.

Dad had a crazy dream to own a farm, which is what he did for the last 25 years of his life after retiring from his job.

I have a crazy dream to be a novelist and go on book tour. About that…coming in 2026 after I “retire” from being a stay-at-home-mom.

I’m gonna miss him. But whenever I do I just have to remember…

In so many ways we are the same.

https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Woods-Regie-Endsley-ebook/dp/B09YQG13F5/